Sejarah Nakba 1948

17 November 2023.

Dah 40 hari (sejak 7 Oktober) kejadian Taufan Al-Aqsa berlaku. It's a new Nakba. Nakba is the new term for me. Masa 2013, aku tak faham kenapa Israel nak sangat tanah Palestin tu. Ingatkan sekadar Islam vs Yahudi. Tapi the more I learn, the more I know. Sebenarnya lebih daripada itu. 

Credit: The Palestine Academy

Pada tahun 1948, Palestin ni di bawah penjajahan British. Tanpa izin rakyat Palestin tiba-tiba tanah diorang ni "dihadiahkan" kepada Yahudi melalui gerakan Zionis untuk mengukuhkan kedudukan penjajah Yahudi yang bernama Israel. Semua ni disokong sepenuhnya oleh Barat. Dana semua dari sana.

Jadinya pada tahun 1948, penjajah menghapuskan 800 ribu orang rakyat Palestin (ethnic cleansing) dengan cara dibunuh dengan kejam beramai-ramai dan dihalau dari negara sendiri. Ini yang dipanggil Nakba atau melayunya malapetaka. In English, catastrophe. 

Kejam tak kejam diorang ni. Kekejaman tu bertahan banyak generasi ya sehingga harini. Keluasan Palestin tu ibarat satu negeri Pahang. Betapa kecilnya negara yang dijajah golongan Zionis ni. Lepastu, Palestin dibahagikan kepada Tebing Barat (West Bank), Genting Gaza (Gaza Strip), Jerusalem, Jajahan Israel, dan beberapa tempat yang dijadikan sempadan negara. Sampai sekarang, lebih 6 juta rakyat Palestin tak dibenarkan balik ke negara sendiri. La hawla wala quwwata illa billah. 

Macam mana penjajah Israel ni maintain menjajah Palestin dan berterusan mencuri tanah Palestin? Melalui sistem apartheid yang kejam yang dikendalikan oleh Pasukan Pendudukan Israel atau Israeli Occupation Forces (IOF).

Menurut kamus Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka, Aparteid (apartéid) dasar membezakan warna kulit (biasanya antara kulit putih dgn kulit hitam).

Nanti kita masuk bab sistem apartéid Israel. Ada banyak lagi kena belajar pasal ni. Untuk kita juga. Palestin tu milik kita.

Ceasefire now.

Kun Fayakun

Assalamualaikum. Wow lamanya tak berblog. Sebenarnya, banyak benda jadi dalam masa setahun ni. I don't know where to start.

Ok let me start from where I stopped.

Wait.

Hold on.

Lama sangat dalam draf ni. Since 26th May 2022 9:07AM

Inspired to update the blog by Maria Elena - the legit influencer. Tak kenal? BBNU la tu. Ataupun you're not active enough on Internet.

Ok nanti sambung.

Okay today 17th Nov 2023, 18:44. 

Credit: @khairushdi

Here's a life update. I'm still gracefully working at Tafhim Sdn. Bhd., sekolah yang menguruskan SRI Ummah Bandar Baru Bangi. Working there as an IT Officer. Almost 3 years already. 

Still single but having a crush on someone. I feel like a kid for having a crush at this age aahhahahaha. Yela, people of my age are either dah tunang or married and dah beranak pinak anak 1 at least. While me? Dah la single. Kerja pun dekat ngan rumah. Kat tempat kerja pun tak dan nak berkenalan dengan sesiapa sebab semua laki orang ahhahahahah and hmmmmm takmo la ustaz ustaz ni. Gaji pun alhamdulillah cukup dengan apa adanya.

Last updated, my sister kena eczema teruk kan. A few months back, she was diagnosed with cataract. Both eyes. Yes, the same sister. Watif dah underwent surgery for one eye and another one dalam beberapa bulan lagi. Aku bawa dia pergi first appointment dengan ENT. I worked from hospital ya. Siap selfie hantar kat HR lagi. Sepanjang dalam keadaan mata dia macam tu, I was her driver and her eyes. I sacrificed a lot of my time — which I should be spending with myself or socialize with other (than family). She underpaid me just like gaji kat Malaysia ni yang underpaid. Tapi tak kisah la benda tu. I really hope she appreciate everything.

Also, with that condition I officially became the driver for running errands. Untuk mengelakkan salah faham, I love driving tapi by myself la & dengan someone yang vibe dia sama dengan aku. Kalau time aku kena drive, tapi co-pilot banyak complain, auto tak suka drive.

Imagine if I were not working dekat dengan rumah? Siapa yang free nak bawa adik pi tuisyen? Nak balik rumah kejap alihkan kereta sebab orang nak tar jalan? Nak ambil ubat abah kat KK? Nak hantar barang customer mak? 

Some (included family) ada yang tak faham the situation. Dok la cakap 

"Apply la kerja ni. Gaji besar. Gaji sekarang kecil buat apa?" I ranted this to my parents and sibs. All they said was "awak jangan la buat muka. Kata ok je" pastu takleh nak defend diri sendiri?

Gaji kecil ni la yang buat semua di atas ya. 

Sometimes aku harap ada orang masuk meminang aku cepat cepat je 😂 tapi bila fikir melayari rumah tangga is harder than what I'm facing right now, hadap je lahhhh

Pekakkan telinga dan terus berdoa. Supaya dipermudahkan segala urusan.

Kahwin mahal. Bila dah ada anak, lagi mahal. Lagi serabut. Buatnya laki kau menyusahkan dan tak membantu dalam hal rumah tangga walaupun ilmu dia tinggi, lagi parah. 

Bila dah umur macam ni, macam-macam kisah kehidupan, kerjaya dan rumah tangga yang selalu aku dengar. 

Your time will come, your time will shine. If Allah says, it's meant to be yes it's yours. Kalau tak, usaha la teruk mana kalau Dia kata, tu bukan untuk kau maka bukanlah.

Tough Cookie

 

Credit picture: Pinterest

Assalamualaikum, Survivors!

In the amidst of MCO, RMCO and CMCO, how you doin? Hope you're doing great. I have a story to tell and it's about my sister. The story has been on my twitter drafts since 10pm but I couldn't tweet it. So I decided to post it on my blog instead (although  I had to go through some troubles with my laptop ugh)

My sister's eczema worsening since a year ago. She even lost her confidence inside and outside. Takmau keluar rumah. Kalau duduk rumah, pakai lengan panjang. Bertelekung almost 24/7.

Tambah dengan stress online class, assignments and court trial. Selalu tidur 3 pagi 🤦

Her insecurities was at the highest point. She almost cried, like every night I got off work, "Keklah, watif penat la macam ni. Kenapa watif sorang je dapat ujian yang macam ni? Panas tak boleh. Sejuk tak boleh. Nak mandi pun sakit tau."

I comforted her by saying, "it's okay, ujian untuk orang beriman memang besar" and it was not helpful at all hahahha bad sister. I wasn't at her place and feeling the pain.

I voiced it out to my parents. Dia pernah bagitau mak abah but mak abah jenis kalau tak nampak depan mata memang akan senyap je. Then lepas dah bagitahu mak abah, abah cakap "Takpa pergi jumpa dr tu. Abah bayar."

Her only concern was, money. But I know our parents is more than enough to support her health wellbeing. Sebab banyak dah duit dia habis beli cream itu ini kat farmasi....tu yang dia taknak minta duit. Yela dia kan masih belajar dan tidak berpendapatan. Lagipun, for me as long as you have not earn your own money, the responsibilities of your health wellbeing are on your parents and they cannot complaint about it. Bukannya anak minta dilahirkan untuk sakit seperti itu.

So, made an appointment and went to a private hospital. Spent like RM400+ for treatment months ago. But the specialist didn't consult her properly (tak sampai 10mins pun bersua muka). She only prescribed her the medicines.

We saw no progress & it was getting worse!

After the situation, she went to meet our cousin (kak ngah) who is a medical officer at Puchong. She asked for consultation. Kak ngah pun terkejut tengok the whole body merah-merah.

"Teruk ni watif. Dia bagi ubat apa?"

Okay ubat dia bagi tu rupanya taraf chemotherapy, paling tinggi...Idk what's the name. Dia requested taknak steroid kat doktor tu, tapi doktor tu bagi gak steroid.

Ubat yang specialist tu bagi, semua macam tak sesuai la untuk dia basically, kata abang ad (our pharmacist cousin). Watif ada tanya abang ad satu soalan. Soalan seperti ini, "Kenapa ada doktor kalau doktor pun tak boleh menyembuhkan penyakit?"

Abang Ad jawab, "Penyakit sembuh dengan izin Allah. Allah made it happen. Kalau Allah tak izin, tak jadi juga"

Maka, conversation diakhiri dengan istighfar. Kak ngah pun buat la referal letter untuk refer dia ke pakar di hospital kerajaan.

"Tak pernah-pernah kak ngah buat referal letter sampai dua page ni watif"

Lepas siap surat tu, esoknya terus hantar ke hospital serdang and waiting for the call from the hospital.

Hospital suruh tunggu dua minggu untuk jawapan. Tapi lepas beberapa hari doctor call untuk set appointment.

Last week, she went to hospital serdang to meet the doctor. Doctor terkejut oi.

"Macam mana u boleh tahan????"

Then, consultation began. She asked my sister the historical and family background. Ada asma ke tak. Ada resdung ke tak, semua ada. Ada lagi tak yang ada ezcema etc etc

Sejarah dari adik aku baby pun dia tanya tau. She even had to take off her clothes for a whole body checkup.

Consultation took about an hour. Then had to go to O&G for pregnancy test skskksks lepastu baru dr bagi ubat. Macam-macam la ubat dapat.

But all for free. RM1 pun tak payah bayar. GL mak abah pun tak pakai.

Syukur jadi rakyat Malaysia. Nikmat mana lagi hendak kamu dustakan?

I told her numerously to love herself first. Tak perlu nak insecure sangat. Jangan stress. Tidur awal.

Today, she brag about her skin condition. Alhamdulillah, it's getting better and I'm sooo happy! The medicine worked. Allah made it worked. To give a helping hand in her journey, kakak jadi tukang sapu cream kat belakang badan dia. Aku jadi tukang syampu rambut dia. Boleh buka spa dah siap request urut kepala lagi. Tadi masa syampu & urut kepala dia, siap keluar angin lagi ko, kemain.

That's all for today.

Cherish everything you have; nikmat kesihatan, keluarga dan ibadah 🥰

Thanks for reading my story and good night! 💜

Nota kaki: After a few thoughts, I'm now taking a Mandarin Class with mandarinjer. Still a baby step but please pray for me!

in-tacenda

Source:

Salam.

4 days after my last post, 19/06/2020-- I got an interview for a substitute teacher (22/06) in a school and a teacher in a tuition center (24/06). I applied the positions via Facebook, my sister sent the link to me. Before that, I didn't know that we could apply job in Facebook hahaha so it was a new thing for me.

SCHOOL: 

The school requested to do a video of teaching and send the video before I came to the interview session. I did the video full heartedly using my aunty's old Samsung Tab because that was my only tools for being at Kampung. We went back home on Sunday (21/06) and I finished editing the video Monday, an hour before the interview session pheww. The interview session was on 11am. During the interview, I told them about my situation and I was asked to resign, "Macam mana kalau nak berhenti kat sana? Boleh berhenti?" . I remembered, my father keep saying not to resign on my current job. I just nodded to the interviewer and told him I will discuss with the management. Gosh the interview session was intense as it was my first interview ever after 8 months. They told me the results would be by tomorrow or the day after, because they wanted to have a teacher ASAP. But guess what? I haven't heard from them since then until 28th of June. 

TUITION CENTER:

I was late to the interview that day (24/06) because I was lost. It turned out the place was at another side of Kajang hahaha fool me for not reading the WhatsApp messages and opened the given location. It was quite far. I wrote back to the Person-In-Charge (PIC) and informed, "I'm sorry I'm going to be late. I was lost". She was cool enoughand said "It's okay". Luckily when I arrived there, it was not my turned yet. So I waited like 30 minutes. Mind you, I waited like 30 minutes also at the school that day. So it's okay to be early. I kinda have a vibe of 'fun' for the tuition center. So I was like, why not kalau dapat kerja part time sini dulu untuk sebulan kan. The interview session also was fun. Not like the previous interview session, I was told beforehand to prepare for a mock teaching for any topic of mathematics. So I taught the interviewer. It was fun. I taught Logarithm and its law. The response I got from him also great. He told me the interview's result will be out by the weekend. So, likewise I waited patiently. But it has been 9 days since the interview day, I haven't heard anything from them. Tonight, I received a call to offer me the english & mathematics teacher from the tuition center. Sad and frustrated, I had to turned down the offer.

The company I'm working with uplifted the UPL and we were asked to come back to work but only for half month (minimum 13 days). All of these happened right after I went for the interviews. I don't know what else to say. I'm grateful but at the same time it was frustrated. I told my parents so many times that I wanted to quit my current job. But they won't allow me to, they kept saying "tak payah berhenti, biar company yang berhentikan awak. Nanti awak rugi tak dapat pampasan". Is the compensation money THAT important? 

Another reason to be frustrated is, I don't have the answer why they called me at the last minute. It makes me think, "am i that bad or am i too good?" 🙁

Kalau tak sebab kena pergi Segamat untuk 2 minggu dan dapat masuk balik kerja, aku dah terima dah tawaran dari pusat tuisyen tu.

To be honest, to be a teacher is one of my ambition since I was a kid. Growing up with aunties and uncle who have been serving their life by teaching had always inspiring me. Berkhidmat untuk negara. Memberi manfaat kepada masyarakat. Kumpul pahala macam tu je. I don't know if you know this. I applied for IPG twice. Passed sampai UKCG for the first and second tu passed sampai group interview. Then that's it. I applied for DPLI UniSZA after I graduated from UMT, but then luck and rezeki is not with me. The application got error and I failed it. 

I don't know if I should give up to be a teacher, for now. The path seems to be blurry. Adulthood is blurry. I was once a kid with too many ambitions but now, looking at all the circumstances I became ambitionless. 

I learned that we just have to do our work and know our place. May Allah gives what's the best for us and avoid the worst from us. Perhaps things are not going in our way, it is going according to His plans, who know? Only Allah knows.

Aaamiinn.

Dua puluh tiga, 2020

14 Jun 2020, ulangtahun aku yang ke 23. Tak sangka 6 tahun lepas aku melangkah sekolah dengan gembira, habis SPM, just to face the reality of being an adult. Being one, it has no fun in it.

I've been down lately, looking at some of my friends are achieving their goals. Ada yang dah kerja secara professional as a banker, ada yang tengah sambung study, ada yang dah stable bekerja di syarikat yang aku boleh katakan selamat la dalam keadaan sekarang (at least tak kena unpaid leave ataupun diberhentikan).

Yesterday, I saw Alia's whatsapp status. Alia is one of my dearest junior from Universiti Malaysia Terengganu. Kawan sekelas dia, Adila terlibat dengan kebakaran. Rumahnya terbakar dan benda yang dia sempat grab cuma laptop. Punca kebakaran, fuse box terbakar. I can't imagine how would I feel if I was at her place. Dah la final year, intership lagi beberapa hari. Nak kena submit thesis lagi. Assignment lagi. Mesti rasa macam messed up gila.

Kita ni diuji dengan pelbagai ujian dan setiap manusia berbeza ujiannya. Macam aku, mungkin aku diuji dengan mendapat kerja yang profesional lambat sikit. Seperti Adila, dia diuji dengan rumahnya terbakar di saat genting seperti itu. Dalam keadaan sekarang, membuatkan aku terfikir mesti ramai lagi diuji dengan ujian lebih berat. Dalam kesusahan aku yang tak seberapa ni, aku masih ada rumah untuk tinggal. Tinggal dengan family aku. Aku boleh shopping lagi dekat shopee walaupun acap kali aku cakap aku takda duit kah. Aku masih cukup pakai, makan, minum dan tidur. Alhamdulillah.

Hal ni selalu membuatkan aku berpegang pada satu quote ni. Quote daripada drama Korea yang bertajuk What Happens To My Family?. Oh pernah post pasal drama ni dulu. Kat sini. 6 tahun lepas punya drama dan ada 53 episod. I still can't believe I watched it from the 1st episode until the end.

"At your age, nothing is supposed to work out. If everything worked out, that'd be weird. The sooner the sun up, the higher your shadow get. A god beginning doesn't ensure a good ending. If the progress is slow, there's a reason why. So, don't cry. Pain is part of being young, they say"

Peer pressure is real even in adulthood. Kalau dulu masa kecil, selalu mak comparekan kita dengan anak kawan-kawan dia takpun anak sedara dia kan. Bila dah besar ni, ada juga. Tapi lebih pada aku comparekan diri aku dengan kawan-kawan aku yang lain. Aku rasa pressure. Aku rasa macam aku tak bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada. Tapi bila muhasabah diri semula, aku patut bersyukur sangat sangat. This is just part of the pain.

-----
As of today is my 23rd birthday, I received so many prayers from my family, friends and acquaintances. Thank you for all the prayers. I really appreciated it. Only Allah can repay you back. These are some of the prayers and wishes that really make my heart feel awww

야 생일 축하해 💜 너의 생일은 우리 탄이 생일 하루 뒤에 좀 특별한거 알지? ㅋㅋ너의 인생에서 더 성공하고 행복했으면 좋겠다 야 왜냐면 좋은 것 들을 받을 자격이 있으니까. 앞으로ㅗ 더 멋지게 살아맄ㅋㅋ많이 보고싶고 사랑한다! 나 먼저 자..녕~(슨데..우리 멀리 있지도 않은데 왜 이렇게 너를 만나기가 좀 힘들지?I don't know  난 물라 🤔😂✊) - Maryam

Assalamualaikum Qilah. Happy 23rd birthday. Semoga Allah memberkati sahabat saya ni. Diberikan kesihatan yang baik. Dipanjangkn umur dan dimurahkan rezeki sentiasa 💕. Semoga terus kuat dalam menjalani kehidupan yang makin mencabar, diberikan kesabaran dan sentiasa kuat dalam menghadapi apa jua cabaran dan dugaan hidup. Semoga 'Aqilah Najwa menjadi hamba yang taat dan anak yang solehah untuk mak abah. ❤️. Ya Allah semoga sahabat saya berjaya dunia dan akhirat. Aamin 😊. Happy birthday sister. I love you 💐 - Farahin

Happy birthday aqilah najwa!
I pray for every steps of yours
Be blessed with His love and guidance
And of course, endless happiness and barakah fiddunya wal akhirah!
Happy 23rd birthday aqil! Luv u! Heheh ❤️🙆🏻‍♀️🎂 - Mardhiah

Happy Birthday ‘Aqilah Najwa!! Mencari gambar kita berdua seperti tiada, aku dh transfer masuk laptop la ni 🙃🙃 Thank you selalu teman pergi career fair smpai sis dapat protege maybank. Nnti kita gi makan yeee. May Allah bless you with endless happiness. Thank you for helping me when I needed words of wisdom! Semoga ‘Aqilah Najwa serta keluarga dan org sekelilingnya dijauhi sebarang penyakit berbahaya. Sentiasa dimurahkan rezeki olehNya. Mendapat keberkatan dan keredhaan dariNya. Semoga anda terbuka hati nak apply kerja lain hehe. Cepat cepat kahwin (AMIIN) 🤲🏻🤲🏻 Love you lots babe! Takecare 🤍🤍 - Athirah

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QILAHHH HEHEHEHE SORRY LAMBAT. May there be success at every turn of life and all your dreams come true! Semoga kehidupanmu di dunia ini sentiasa dilindungi, diberkati dan dirahmati oleh Allah. I pray for your happiness and health. Stay safe wherever you are. Muahh miss u bb😘 - Wina

Happy Birthday 'Aqilah. Saya doakan segala yang terbaik buat awak, di dunia dan akhirat. Ingatlah yang segala perkataan dan perbuatan kita di dunia ini adalah semata2 utk mendapatkan keredhaan Allah; belajar, bekerja, bermasyarakat, berkahwin, dll. Semoga kita sama2 dikurniakan syurgaNya kelak, amin. See you there insyaAllah - Dr Hassilah

Dr Hassilah's prayer hits me so hard. Therefore, I would like to write myself a letter.

---
SURAT UNTUK 'AQILAH

Dear 'Aqilah,

Alhamdulillah, you have turn 23 this year! Terima kasih Allah kerana telah memanjangkan umur dan memurahkan rezeki Aqilah. Terima kasih mak dan abah sebab telah menanggung Aqilah sehingga cukup pakai, makan, minum dan tidur. Terima kasih adik beradik kerana menerima kekurangan dan kelebihan seorang adik dan kakak ini. Terima kasih kawan-kawan yang masih mengingati diri yang serba biasa ini.

Ingatlah Aqilah, rezeki datang dalam pelbagai bentuk. Setiap hari kau doa "ya Allah kurniakanlah aku rezeki yang melimpah ruah, rezeki yang boleh membawa aku, guru-guru, keluarga, sahabat dan sesiapa yang mengenali aku ke syurga" dan Allah makbulkan doa kau. Kau nampak tak? Keluarga kau masih bersama kau. Tempat tinggal kau masih utuh. Makan, minum dan tempat tidur alhamdulillah ada. Kau masih boleh memberi kepada orang yang lebih memerlukan.

Aqilah, it's okay if people do not recognize your effort. Always be kind. Jagalah solat. Jaga lah hubungan dengan Allah. Aku rasa itu yang kau masih kena perbaiki. Jangan tipu diri sendiri. Jangan culas baca al-Quran. 

Aqilah, count your blessings instead. Stop overthinking about things you haven’t achieve yet. You will reach there soon. You don't have to rush. Rezeki yang kau expect tu belum tiba masanya lagi. Insya Allah, rezeki tu akan sampai!

Aqilah, please read a lot of books. Please reduce your time on social media. No one is looking for you on social media anyway. Kau tu je perasan kau famous. Nothing interesting there like it used to. Ni bukan zaman kau dah. You should've deactivate all your accounts hahaha jk keep spreading kind there okie.

Aqilah, learn how to pray specifically. Allah tu Maha Mendengar. Dia Maha Mengetahui. You have been through a lot but this is only a little if you want to compare it to others who are unfortunate.

Akhir kata, jangan putus asa okay. Sila jangan tidur selepas subuh. 

x.

Throughout the Years; 2017, 2018 & 2019

FIRST POST FOR 2020!

It has been almost three months since the first day of Movement Control Order aka MCO. MCO started on 18th March 2020 due to corona virus (covid-19), pandemic and I must say it's a tragedic that happened to the world. While I have a lot of time to be waste, I thought I wanted to start blogging again (yeah after a few encounter, sebab tak ada idea hahah and people won't read my blog anyway).

Here are some updates after the last post in 2017:

2017 and 2018 are the most busiest and hectic years in my life. Nevertheless I learned a lot throughout the years. I was selected to be one of the Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar in Universiti Malaysia Terengganu. I met awesome and great people. They are also my team and currently friends called family. Raz, Kelly, See @ Riana, Wani, Kak Adi, Din, Aril, Chisto, Along, Andi, Bobby, Umar, Aimi, Ainsyaf, Feera, Zara, Seha, Yani, Yana, Nad, Sher, Mia, & Nisah they helped me in building up my self esteem, (I posted an appreciation post on my Instagram before hahaha but I'm gonna write here again). We shed tears together. We hang out together a lot also. Being an mpp was the greatest decision I've ever made in my life. I had to sacrifice my time for my academic, family and friends. Jarang sekali balik ke Bangi. Most of my time are spent in UMT. But I had no regret walaupun it affected my results. I admitted that I have no interest anymore in the coure I took. I barely made it, alhamdulillah. I managed to maintain the 3.0 CGPA as I was a JPA holder.

Our first family picture

My close friends also understood my time and suprisingly we managed to spend our time together. Likewise they said, "you need to find the time to spend together, communication is the key" I don't know who quoted that hiks. 2018 had been something to me. Ended the leadership world of mpp, prs and syumt, challenged myself on university challenge, cried for many times because couldn't coop and almost gave up on studies and fyp, feeling betrayed, feeling anxiety all the times, and more.

Farahanim's birthday celebration

But because of these people, I stood up. I learn to pick myself up. They helped me went through it. I felt sorry for the family, sebab selalu tak balik rumah. I thanked them for sometimes being understanding. Thank you for being honest whenever I need it. Terima kasih sebab layan karenah aku, hantar and pick up aku kat airport & stesen bas. Terima kasih sudi beri bahu untuk aku menangis saat aku memerlukan.

I missed everyone right now 😢

2019, not so much things happened as I was solely focusing on my academic. Needed to remind myself a lot that the cgpa have to maintain hahah so no more playing around. I shed tears a lot too throughout the years. About to give up on my fyp also kah. I had my first ever surprise birthday celebration from the Sang Mantan family. They're so precious! I had my friends birthday celebration too! I'm still in awe that I managed to complete my thesis on fyp although I barely can't understand what I was researching. I'm still in awe that I have graduated with 3.0 CGPA HAHAHA. Alhamdulillah nevertheless. Mak & abah must have had pray for me, like a lot.

Graduation ceremony

So fast forward heading to 2020.

It has been 7 months since I graduated. I started working as a store assistant at Galeri Ariani Ostia Bangi for 4 months. After that, the managers offered me to work as a cashier there. So, currently I work as a cashier. But I have been on leave (unpaid) since early of June due to the pandemic event and MCO. I had fun working there despite of the pressure (iykyk). Staying at home made me stress, hence I woke up late after subuh prayer. Mom was crazy mad at me for tidur balik lepas subuh. Sorry mak, love you.

That's all for now. See you in the next post!

Rezeki Kucing.

I have a lots of cats here at home and whenever I'm in UMT, I'll surely for God sake miss all those cats whenever I see any cats around campus and college.

As you know(perhaps you know), I'm in my first year of degree, and currently in 2nd semester. While typing this, I had a lot of work needs to be done but nah I have one more day left for mid sem holiday. Ha! One more day. Freakin one more day. Gosh.

For the whole week of holiday, I haven't touch any of my work. Busy with cats stuffs. 

Let me tell you a story, I have 11 cats for now; Bubu, Snowy, Browny, Stormy, Loly, Comot, Leo, Theo, Upin, Ipin and Kontot. We randomly named them hahahha.

Theo and Leo. We haven't decide which one is Theo and Leo aha.

Last Sunday(2/4/17), Comot was about time to give birth but we didn't know she couldn't give birth on her own. She bring herself into the cage and stayed there for the whole day! Instead of bringing Comot to Vet, we brought Kontot as we noticed Kontot had flu, and difficulties in breathing while he slept. It took us 30 minutes to honeyvets and omg the traffic jammed was seriously hectic and kakak tak boleh tahan diri dari mencarut hahahaha. Malaysian drivers, please please please give signal either you're going right or left! Don't give last minute signal. So annoying. Okay, back to the story, and long story short, Kontot was like kena asma. He was restless-- dear cat lovers, restless and hyperactive are different. 

Browny, 2 years old.

Snowy, 2 years old.

Restless is when your cat is playing all day long, because normally hyperactive cat will play all night long and spends most of their time to sleep during the day. 

His lungs had paru-paru berair and needed to be nebulize. The nebulization process took about 3 hours. After 3 hours, the vet said that all the hingus dah keluar and dia dah okay. And the fees was about RM322. Blergh. Gone money gone, for cats. Rezeki kucing. 

Now, Kontot is healthy as he can be. He plays as normal kitten should. Gigit kaki orang and not to mention my hair! But the best part is, when we gave him the medicine, he will cry and yeah spill the ubat inside his mouth. Every single time. Haih macam manusia perangainya. Susah benor makan ubat.

10 minutes before rushing to vet in upm

On Tuesday(11/4/17), I was home alone. Monitoring Comot. She seems like getting worst and there was something like blood on her butt. So I decided to take her to the vet in upm. After the long waiting, vet cakap, she needs to go through xray and ultrasound. Oh pula dah. Okay then, I said. Go ahead. My phone battery was about 10% at that time hahahaha kesian gila aku. So I waited, again. From 10am something until 1pm, I was in the vet, with low phone battery. Unfortunately, I didn't bring any power bank or a freakin charger. So, I tebalkan muka minta kat orang for charger. Tak sampai 5 minit, Comot punya ultrasound and xray is done, and bateri pun tinggal 5% (jadilah tu), we went back to the consultation room. Tunggu for doktor pula. Aigooo. 

Before xray and ultrasound. Phone battery status: 8%

So yeah my day was all for waiting and waiting. Lepas about 10 minit, doctor pun datang and explained all the results. She said while showing me the xray results, Comot had 3 babies; 2 is alive and another one can't be detected (maybe alive after discussing with another doctors). Sebab tak boleh detect, dia dah nak keluar, stuck dekat pelvis dia, i think. Thats what make dia tak boleh nak teran untuk beranak plus dia masih lagi kecil. 

xray results. see the black-ish figure? thats the can-not-detect-in-ultrasound baby.

So they suggested to induce, gave her oxytocin tapi kena monitor la biar dia boleh push. Kalau tak boleh juga kena surgery. Tapi, surgery penuh pula kat situ. Me already crying a river there. So, I called mak and mak said to fetch her up and we're going to Honeyvets. I said to doctor, okay la....saya bawa dia ke private clinic. So I paid, RM138.53 for ultrasound, xray and consultation fees. I rushed to Putrajaya and fetched mak there. Alhamdulillah tak sesat hahaahha sebab biasanya akan sesat walaupun dah beribu kali lalu jalan sama-- 'cause I'm that bad at remembering jalan. Sampai Honeyvets, the doctor explained about cat susah beranak & apa yang mereka akan usually buat. 

So, kalau kucing anda susah beranak, normally mereka akan induced for 2 hours and then kalau tak berjaya, they'll go further for surgery. Before(or after hm tak ingat sebab time tu my sister called me for thousands times) surgery, biasanya mereka akan buat test for fip, aids, and hiv, blood tests to check the heart, liver, kidney function. Kemudian, kena warded dalam 5 hari. And guess what, the estimation costs is about RM1,500 to RM2,000. 

Jawdrop. 

Mana nak cekau duit oi. "For the sake of humanity, teruskan je la with induce and then kalau induce fail, proceed with surgery." Mak menangis weh time cakap tu. Don't worry mak. Mesti ada hikmah Allah uji kita camni. Allah takkan uji hambaNya melampaui kemampuan hamba Dia. Mungkin rezeki Comot kalini. Rezeki kita untuk berkongsi dengan kucing. 

So today(6/4/17), mak called untuk pick Comot kat honeyvets. I was like "Eh bukan ambil hari sabtu/ahad ke?". Okay whatever maybe dia dah stable. Sampai kat honeyvets, dr's assistant pun terkejut. So proceed je la pape pun sebab dari jauh mai dari bangi ke seri kembangan semata-mata for Comot. So tunggu lagi. Sempat la upload video kat ig @secretsebelas. hahahha. 

Dalam pukul 2.30pm, dr. called us. Dr ckp, Comot ada FIP, kutu dalam darah and anak semua mati. Oh my heartu

That's why I'm learning to handle my problems calmly. Think with rational, Listen with all ears. So semuanya salah faham dan miscommunication. So kami pun bayar. We already paid the deposit which costs us RM1119 (from the estimation cost earlier RM2,338, mak paid half of it....by credit). So we pay for the rest with mak's card, RM1,065. So total costs for Comot's treatment is RM2,124. But then, tak dapat resit and results lagi huhuhuhu I waited for freakin 15 minutes for receipt tapi tak dapat. Akan dapat thru whatsapp katanya. Tunggu je lah.

So for now, we have to monitor Comot. Make her happy and not stress. Quarantine her from any of the other cats and kittens. She has to use newspaper to replace litter sand. Oh I forgot to mention, she got Happy Pills. Hahaha I wish I had one. Dr. dah sunatkan si Comot. So she will not pregnant ever again. But please please please, pray for her speedy recovery. She's still young and small-- about 7 months old, equivalent to 12 years old human's age.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Berkata Ibn al Haitami dalam Fatwa:

“Disunatkan untuk bermurah hati kepadanya (kucing) Dan wajib atas pemiliknya memberi makan kepadanya jika ia tidak dapat mencari sendiri makanannya.”

I spent my mid sem holidays with these stuffs and wonder what Allah wants to show us.
Kami adik-beradik sanggup keluarkan duit dari akaun simpanan, just for cats. Watif said this to me,

"Takpa lah. Duit boleh dicari. Mungkin kali ni rezeki kita untuk diberi pada dia. Ada hikmah semua ni. Harini kita tolong dia, insya Allah one day, dia tolong kita."

Yes, one day dia tolong kita, tak di sini, mungkin di akhirat nanti, kan? Insya Allah.

Tidak ada satu pun yang dicipta Allah swt itu tanpa tujuan termasuklah haiwan. Mengikut Ahmad Syakir dalam Umdah al Tafsir ‘an al Hafiz, 1/772, Dar al Wafaa’ (2003), semua haiwan di hari Kiamat kelak akan menjadi debu. Di situlah penamatnya. Tetapi kita sebagai manusia akan ditimbang segala amalan untuk ditentukan kesudahan Neraka dan Syurganya. Jadi kehadiran kucing bukan sahaja sebagai binatang peliharaan yang mengisi kekosongan jiwa kita tetapi juga sebagai wadah untuk menuai ganjaran pahala daripada Allah swt. (tazkirah.net)

 -------------------------------------------------------
Sekian for now.
Gonna do my work.
Assalamualaikum.

The past is gone forever.

"By brooding over the past and its tragedies, one exhibits a form of insanity-- a kind of sickness that destroys resolve to live for the present moment. Those who have a firm purpose have file away and forgotten occurences of the past, which will never again see the light, since they occupy such a dark place in the recesses of the mind. Episodes of the past are finished with; sadness cannot retrieve them, melancholy cannot make things right, and depression will never bring the past back to life. This is because the past is non-existent.

Do not live a nightmares of former times or under the shade of what you have missed. Save yourself from the ghostly apparition of the past. Do you think you can return the sun to its place of rising, the babyto its mother's womb, milk to udder, or tears to the eye? By constatntly dwelling on the past and its happenings, you place your self in a very frightful and tragic state of mind.

Reading too much into the past is waste of the present. When Allah mentioned the affairs of the previous nations, He the Exalted, said:

That was a nation who passed away. -Qur'an 2:134-

Former days are gone and done with, and you benefit nothing by carrying out an autopsy over them, by turning back the wheels of history.

The person who lives the in the past is like someone who tries to saw sawdust. Of Old, they used to say:

"Do not remove the dead from their graves."

Our tragedy is that we are incapable of dealing with the present: neglecting our beautiful castles, we wail over dilapidated buildings. If every man and jinn were to try jointly to bring back the past, they would most certainly fail. Everything on earth marches forward, preparing for a new season-- and so should you."

---------
From Don't Be Sad written by 'Aaidh Ibn Abdullah al-Qarni.

Tips Belajar 101

Assalamualaikum and good evening.

So harini aku nak share something benefits untuk diri aku dan awak semua insya Allah. Got this on facebook. Aku edit sikit bagi lawa hehehehe
Bismillah.

• Mandi waktu pagi antara pukul 1 pagi - 6 pagi. Pada waktu ini, sangat bagus mandi, kerana ia akan mengurangkan lemak dalam badan. 

• Jika bangun pukul 4 dan ke atas, jangan lagi tidur selepas itu, kerana jika tidur semula, akan melemahkan badan.  

• Sarapan antara pukul 7 pagi - 7:30 pagi. Bagus sarapan pada waktu ini kerana ia akan meningkatkan kadar metabolisme dalam badan.

• Datang ke kelas seeloknya 10 minit awal atau lebih awal, kerana ia adalah adab, dan mungkin ada keberkatan di situ. 

• Makan tengahari dengan kadar biasa, selepas setengah jam, tidur seketika 10-15 minit (qailullah), kemudian basahkan kepala untuk kembali segar. 

• Lakukan aktiviti fizikal selepas asar, kerana waktu ini tidak sesuai untuk belajar. Jadi, gunakannya untuk sebarang aktiviti fizikal. 

• Mandi malam lebih kurang antara pukul 6 petang - 6:30 petang. Jangan beriadah terlalu lama, kerana ia akan meletihkan badan pada waktu malam. 

• Luangkan masa maghrib - isya` kepada Allah, kerana waktu ini adalah waktu tenangkan minda dengan terapi. Use the time to read Al-Quran. 

• Mula study lepas isya`. Hanya ambil masa 30 minit untuk satu subjek, seterusnya subjek lain, sampai cukup 2 atau 2.5 jam untuk setiap malam. 

• Tidur awal, lebih kurang pukul 11 atau 11:30 malam (or maybe tidur la awal lagi hehehe). Kerana pada waktu ini,hormon dalam badan perlukan rehat untuk memproses badan dengan baik. 

• Jangan lupa bertahajud dan qiamullail, kerana inilah ikatan yang kukuh antara hamba dan Penciptanya. 

•  Reduce Kpop intake. Increase religious suplements. (just saying for myself) 

• Kurangkan penggunaan media sosial which will distract you from doing your homework! Bahagikan masa tu elok-elok. 

• When in the lecture hall, please....no phone while lecturer is teaching. Keep your phone on silent mode or just put it in your bag and don't ever touch it while you're in class. Nak snapchat ke insta-stories ke, do it after class.

• Solat- jangan tinggal, jangan mengelat, jangan tipu. Mak abah tak nampak tapi Allah nampak. Ingat, "nak berjaya, solat".

• Amalkan solat sunat dhuha. Kalau kelas start pukul 8 ke 8.30 pagi ke, take 5 minutes from your time, pergi solat. Tak susah pun. 

• Amalkan puasa sunat isnin khamis. Sambil-sambil tu, boleh jimat duit kehkehkeh.

Marilah kita sama-sama mengamalkannya.
Insya Allah, boleh buat kalau buat perlahan-lahan.

Don't rush your steps, take 'em easy and slowly.
But make sure it's going on continuously.

Istiqamah.

"Ya Allah permudahkanlah urusan kami dalam menuntut ilmu dan berikanlah kami kefahaman yang jelas sepanjang sesi pembelajaran. Moga-moga. Aaaminn"

A new beginning.

Assalamualaikum. Grolas grolas amigos.

So UPU result was announced yesterday. Everyone was nervous as the clock ticked. Semua orang berharap untuk mendapatkan kos yang terbaik dan sesuai dengan minat masing-masing. But you know, Allah is always the Great Planner of all. Whatever the result was, semuanya bergantung kepada Allah.

Results were announced on 12. Sharp, tepat pukul 12, lepas jemur kain di ampaian, aku buka website upu.
Damn, error. Cuba sekali lagi. Alhamdulillah lepas. Tapi blank pula page tu.
Told myself, sabar qilah. Alhamdulillah, after reloading it, lepas juga ke website.

I, myself was shocked.
Tak sangka dapat tawaran. Yes, I'm serious. Tak sangka.
Because I repeated Biology's paper.
Aku baca di facebook, ada senior tu kata, if you repeat paper, you takkan dapat tawaran. So, the senior was wrong. Rezeki Allah di mana-mana, percaya tu.
Kalau Allah kata jadi, maka jadilah.

Insya Allah, pada 28/8 ni aku akan mendaftarkan diri di Universiti Malaysia Terengganu, dalam bidang Matematik Kewangan. Alhamdulillah, ada dalam list kursus yang aku minta. Pilihan kelima hehehehe.

Tengok kengkawan dapat tawaran bagus-bagus, macam wina- medic in uitm, dini- dentistry in um, amni- chemistry in uitm(tapi tercampak jauh ke sarawak tu ha hahaha), nurin- technopreneur in utem(which i never heard about it, mesti best), farina- geology in ukm and so many more!

I pray to Allah,
to ease our journey.
May He bless us always.
Keep a good company(s) around us,
lead us on the right paths,
always keep positivities with us,
and don't let us astray from Him.

Bismillah for degree life. Best of luck, everyone!

K-drama.

Asalamualaikum.

Lately, I've been catching up with a lot of korean dramas. Truth to be told, I have like dozens of lists of kdrama to be watch. (oh snap i just unchecked the-done-watching-drama!)

...

In the mean time, I have plan a lot of stuffs to post on the blog.
Stay tune.

2016.

Yes. 

2016 is almost over.

I'm still on my way towards a better person.

Keep praying for a better things.

Insya Allah,

everything will be fine.

Susahnya Nak Lupakan Dia by @adshf_

From tumblr

Assalamualaikum @adshf_, saya minta izin copy caption.
Syukran!

#Repost @adshf_

・・・

"Weh,susah betul nak lupakan dia."

Dia memulakan bicara.Keluhan dilepaskan.Dadanya sarat dengan bebanan.
Hanya kerna terus dihantui memori bersama yang sudah tiada.

Kadang-kadang;
Kita rasa susah nak lupakan seseorang,
Kita susah nak lupakan kenangan dengan mereka.
Kerna kita terikat dengan satu perkara--iaitu kasih sayang atau cintanya yang kita dah tak peroleh lagi.
Maksudnya;orang yang susah nak dilupakan ni adalah orang yang banyak mencurahkan kasih-sayangnya dekat kita.Dan kita dahagakannya bila kita keputusan bekalan cinta dan kasih sayang daripada mereka.sebab itu kita susah nak lupakan dia.

Dan cara untuk mengatasinya--
Adalah dengan menggali kembali cinta yang tak pernah kita terputus bekalan kasih sayangnya iaitu cinta daripada yang Maha Pengasih dan Maha Penyayang.
Sesungguhnya--dia tidak pernah lupa untuk mencintai dan mengasihi kita;hanya kita yang sering lupa dan leka daripada mencintai dan menyayangi Dia.

Awak,
Allah tak lemah atau tak menangis pun kalau kita tak mencintai dia kembali,
Sebab tidak terkira bilangan makhluknya yang lain termasuk malaikat yang taat dan sentiasa mencintai Allah,
Tapi--
Kita ini yang lemah tanpa cinta Allah.
Walaupun kita tak menangis dan tak ambil peduli tentang cinta Allah;
Ketahuilah jiwa dan diri kita menangis tanpa cinta Allah.

Alah apalah sangat cinta sesama manusia?
Manusia yang awak cinta itu pun mengharapkan bekalan cinta daripada Allah.
Maka,perlukah sesakkan diri dengan kenyataan "tak boleh melupakan dia." tu?

Redha.
Kalau qada' dan Qadr' menemukan awak dan dia dalam keadaan yang sangat baik dan diberkati,
Terimalah.
Kalau tidak,tak perlu menyesakkan diri dengan perkara-perkara silam.

Cinta itu fitrah manusia tapi--cinta Allah itu satu kewajipan.

Bukannya kita perlu lupakan kenangan 100% secara drastik.
Bukannya kita tak boleh merindui mereka,
Tapi,
Jangan disebabkan perkara itu; kita lalai dan tak bersemangat untuk mengabdikan diri kepadaNYA.
Jangan disebabkan kita tak boleh lupakan mereka;kita asyik hanyut dalam dunia sendiri sampai solat terbabas,hidup rasa tak nak diteruskan.

Masyaallah.

Adshf
12/12/14

OP: @tumblr
#pahalaproject #thedaiegraphy #dakwahmudah #thepuisidaie

Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM)

Assalamualaikum. Alhamdulillah, aku dapat 7A 2B.

• Bahasa Inggeris A-
• Bahasa Melayu A
• Mathematics A+
• Pendidikan Islam A+
• Sejarah A-
• Add Maths A
• Chemistry A-
• Biology B+
• Physics B

Aku tak expect dapat results macam ni, sebab lepas jawab papers, rasa susah sangat, terus target rendah. Alhamdulillah, He made this easy for me. Sekarang, all these are not a matter anymore. I have to move on. Ada bright future menanti aku. Insya Allah.

Ok meh nak cerita siket.

Malam before dapat results, hati rasa berat sangat. Taktahu kenapa. Macam aku cakap, papers susah dan aku tak yakin aku boleh score ke tidak. I cried after solat. Aku pergi dekat mak.

Mak tanya, "Ni dah kenapa ni?"
"Ta...kuuuuuuut!" *terus jatuh air mata* sambil sorok muka. Addin(adik) dah mengejek dah.
"Awak nak takut apa? Tu kan usaha awak selama ni. Mak suruh belajar, tidur. Benda dah ada dah. Doa banyak-banyak. Tak guna dah menangis."

Mak memang macam tu. Dah biasa dah. Itulah kata-kata semangat dan dorongannya. Berkat doa mak jugalah aku macam tu.

Lepas mak cakap macam tu, aku sambung menangis atas peha mak. Berlapikkan telekung yang dipakai mak. Habis keluar semua hingus hehehe. Malu.

Keesokan harinya, hari ambil keputusan spm. Aku masuk kereta dengan perasaan cuaknya dan berdebar-debar. Aku ingat lagi, on the way nak ke sekolah, kereta atas jalan, di bukit sekolah kebangsaan jalan empat, handphone mak berbunyi tanda  mesej masuk. Aku duduk di kerusi belakang. Aku perhati henfon mak. Heol!

"Mak check???!?!?! Kenapa mak check?!?!?!" sambil terharu dan terkejut. Dalam hati, 'alhamdulillah! alhamdulillah'
Abah tanya, "Ha berapa?"
Mak jawab, "7A 2B. Alhamdulilllah la." She seems like she was happy but she didn't show it.
Abah, "Alhamdulillah"
Tetiba aku mencelah, "Rasa nak buat sujud syukur dalam kereta"

Aku ni jenis kalau dah keluar air mata malam, dia tak keluar siang dah. Cewah. Ya, aku tak nangis haritu kat sekolah sebab dah puas meraung kat mak. Sama macam time ambik upsr punya result. Ingat lagi malam tu lepas isya' berjemaah, aku menangis takut. Abah said the same things.

After the rresults day, bermulalah cerita 'nak ambik kos apa' etc.

Oh ha! Kawan mak pernah congratulates me. Nak tahu dia cakap apa?
"Hebatlah qilah. Tidur pun boleh dapat 7A!" Astaghfirullahal'azim. Ni mesti mak banyak cerita benda tak senonoh pasal aku kat makcik ni. Aku pun, gelaklah "alhamdulillah ha ha ha ha"

---

During this long break, I attended some talk for post-spm/matriks/foundation/stam/asasi students. One of 'em is yadim's event. Ada Dena Bahrin. She's a humble and very small lady as u can see on her ig's photos. Nak share beberapa video from her talk yang aku rasa sangat penting. Enjoy!

Pain is part of being young

 

I can't recall which episode is this from but surely I can remember from which scene.

The scene is where the father is talking to his youngest child- Dalbong when he was soooo depressed about his life was not doing well. His noona(older sister-- well, he only have one sister) and hyung(brother-- his one and only) are doing great with their life. 

Got a great job. The noona is a chief secretary of a company while the hyung is a doctor/specialist in Cancer Department in a hospital. Dalbong is the only one who still not unemployed. According to Dalbong, (I can't recall the episode either!) he wants to be like his father-- selling tofu. We can just say he want to be businessman, right? The father is a role model to him. 

To be like the father-- Dalbong's father obviously rejected it! why would Dalbong become like him who is selling tofu to support the life of the kids and his.

Ooops, seems like I'm giving a spoiler to those who are still not watching the drama. Mianhae.

So, the father consoled him by saying-- the picture above.

----

Oh God, I miss blogging! But I seems lack of ideas what to write and so on. hmm 

I should've making some sort of draft or something. It's been a long time without blogging.

----

5 bulan. 5 bulan aku meluangkan masa di rumah. Buat apa? 

Sebulan pertama,

excited sekolah dah habis. The feelings goes on sampai bulan ke 3 mungkin.

Lepas tu masuk bulan seterusnya, kita rebel la apa lagi.

Cerita post-spm break

Aku duduk rumah. Kemas rumah, lipat kain, jemur baju, basuh pinggan, kemas pinggan etc. Ya, ini lumrah. Tak banyak benda boleh share. 

January-May

"Nak sambung belajar mana nanti?"

"Apply mana?"

"Buat apa kat rumah?"

"Nanti nak buat apa?"

"Nak ambil kos apa?"

*korek telinga* 

Soalan biasa didengari tak kisahlah dari family ke relative ke kawan mak kau ke kawan abah kau ke kawan kakak kau ke kawan adik kau ke, it's everywhere. Kalau yang dah pasti jalannya-- katakan dia nak jadi doktor, yup s/he will choose medic/science course to pursue his/her study. Kalau yang tak pasti, rasa macam "Alaa aku taktahu lagi nak jadi apa. Nampak macam semua best je" ya dia akan teragak-agak untuk memilih. Besar kemungkinan waktu apply upu tu tangannya menggigil-- sebab mak ada di sebelah dok perati kau teragak-agak nak pilih, pastu kena se-das bebelan sebab mak kau ngantuk nak tidur.

Aku rasa aku jenis yang pertama-- dah tahu nak apa, dan yang kedua-- tapi taktahu nak jadi apa. Aku, kalau boleh nak sambung maths. Taknak dah hadap biology. Penat membaca dan menghafal. Sebab aku jenis yang takboleh nak hadam sangat fakta. Biology is really not thing but I can go with it. 

Waktu apply upu, dah tak fikir apa dah. First choice mesti Asasi Sains Uitm. Second choice, Tesl. Third choice, Asasi Sains Fizikal UM. I chose that because my father asked me to and I thought about that wisely; until now. Asasi Sains tu luas, Aku boleh pergi mana aku nak if I work hard and work smart to get 4flat-- nampak gaya macam taktahu nak apa en.

Tapi, most of the family suruh jadi guru. Tunggu keputusan ipg. Lambat sungguh! Kata haritu serentak. Keputusan upu keluar dulu...keputusan ipg keluar by the end of May. Kalau dapat course maths, insya Allah pergi. I really want that. Aku ketepikan karenah aku yang tak suka budak-budak(y'know kids are annoying as they growing up learning so many things and the moment they start to talk back to you ugh). Perasaan terhadap kanak-kanak boleh dipupuk, insha Allah. Minat aku yang mendalam terhadap maths buat aku keliru-- sama ada nak pilih uitm (Alhamdulillah aku dapat Asasi Sains Uitm) atau tunggu ipg. Rasa nak menangis je bila dilemma camni.

Dulu merengek tak dapat buat pilihan sendiri. Segala benda macam baju kurung, tshirt, sweater, tudung, semua mak kau decidekan apa jenis fashion yg kau patut pakai.
Sekarang bila dah kena buat pilihan, baru tahu betapa susahnya untuk buat pilihan.
Sekarang, pilihan di tangan sendiri. Bila tanya mak abah pun, diorang akan jawab, "awak fikir la sendiri. Ni untuk masa depan awak. Takkan semua mak abah nak fikirkan. Takkan semua mak abah nak suapkan." Jadi, pilih yang terbaik buat diri sendiri. Kalau konfius sangat, buat istikharah. Masalahnya, nak bangun tahajud pun malas. Jangan kata tahajud, solat fardhu pun dilambat-lambatkan.
Aduh! Kalau malas, apa pun tak jadi, tahu tak?! *luku diri sendiri*

ok kembali, mak cakap, masuk je Uitm dulu. Kalau ada rezeki dapat ipg, baru pergi. Ya, aku hanya akan pergi kalau ada rezeki, kalau dapat apa yang aku nak. 

Next post, kita cerita pasal keputusan spm pulak ya.

P/s: Post kali ini tidak disusun dan diolah dengan baik. Harap awak yang membaca(tu pun kalau ada yang sudi baca) faham la ya? Maklumlah, dah lama tak ber-blogging.

The Day

Bismillah.
Assalamualaikum.

The Promised Day 

For how long
for how long are we going to be heedless for the signs of All-llah Subhane wa ta’ala
For how long are we going to be busy with the Dunya
Busy making money,
chasing our dreams,
following our desires
We know my brothers and sisters that death is reality
you can’t run away from death
even if you were in a fortress with a wall built up high,
death is going to come and find you

Imagine your time is today,
What have you got to take back to Allah subhane wa ta’ala?
Have you repented for your sins?
For this temporary life,
you have given up eternal bliss
and eternal happiness!
life which never ends.

my dear brothers and sisters,
even if the hereafter was soil and mud
and this dunya was gold and silver,
still the hereafter would be better than this dunya
because it’s eternal

for reality is;
this dunya is mud and soil and the hereafter is gold and silver
and yet,
we choose this life over the next.

Are we asleep?
Why are we walking around like headless chickens?
We will be brought to account.
On the day,
When everyone will be a stranger to another
when your best friend in this dunya will be a stranger to you in the next.

When your mother is going to abandon you just to save herself,
the day when every small action that you ever did, you will be shown.
every atom weight of good
and every atom weight of evil
My dear brothers and sisters
This is the promised day of Allah Subhane wa ta’ala

Doesn’t your heart tremble with fear?
Knowing that you’ll be brought to account?
And how you will die
And that’s how you will be raised
That day
When a child’s hair will turn grey due to the shock and fear
What will be your excuse on that day

When your limbs, your own legs
are going to give witness against you
When your lips are going to be sealed
And your legs are going to speak and say:
“Ya Allah, he made me walk to this Haram”
And your own hands are going to say:
“Ya Allah, he used me to touch this haram”

On that day
my dear brothers and sisters
there is no refuge
except with Allah Subane wa ta’ala
There is no escape
So take heed before your time is up,

Ask Allah Subhane wa ta’ala to make us amongst the Saabiquns,
the group of people who race each other to good deeds
And these people will be closest to Allah Subhane wa ta’ala
in the next life.